admitting defeat

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything on this blog and I thought I'd admit defeat. It seems the filename for the video on this blog is my name. huh. Oops. Oh well. I'll admit. I'm Dave Mortensen. I think it's time to retire this site and forward it to my own blog. It's been fun while it lasted.

I'm going to this. Are you?

it's july 31st everybody

Birthdays have proven to be rather depressing for me. Last year I kept silent about my birthday the whole month of July and then was very disappointed when no one remembered (my own fault, I know) I've been trying to have a positive attitude this year.

Yesterday, my family came down to Provo and took me out for dinner. Aside from the food I ordered being less than par (my fault again) I was really grateful that they would come down to say hello and buy my food.

Oh and my mom gave me a new blanket she made. Boy was I glad to throw away the old one. (Amber I love you and your family even though I can't come up to see you. I've appreciated your comments on my blog lately.)

They bought me an ice cream cake and I had a bit with a few friends last night. Can I say that two of my favorites ice cream flavors are Mint Chocolate Chip and Butter Pecan. Oh my! Then later on my good friend Erin stopped by to pick up her wallet and give me MORE ice cream (Cookies & Cream, a classic).

There I thought my birthday wishes were done and that I could then begin to settle into depression for the next day. Nope! At 12:01 am, Lavish, Dimmi, and Krishna stopped by my apartment with a giant cupcake. Seriously, that's what it looked like. They sang a little song and then I kicked them out (it was after curfew mind you).

This morning my roommate said HB and then I ran off to work. My Dad was in Provo so we headed off to lunch at Gurus on Center Street. Oh my that place does not disappoint me ever (I've only been twice).

When I got back to the office, the staff came singing to my desk with a loaf of Bread from the Cougareat, chocolate milk, and a card signed by everyone. It really was a touching card. I appreciate them a lot.

An that's where I am. I don't care if nothing else happens tonight. I'd like to get work off this evening but even if that doesn't happen I'm thankful for the day I've had so far. I'm surrounded by good family, friends, and coworkers.

Happy Birthday to me.

Controversy over my tongue

I've received a couple of harsh emails in reference to my Letter of Complaint to Red Robin. Comments have varied from "#@$!" to "You don't know what you're talking about."

I would just like to say that my complaint letter to Red Robin was fair in my mind. i explained I had very high hopes for their restaurant but just that the two times I have been there I was disappointed.

My experience may not compare with those of anyone who glances at this blog but that's just fine. I was not telling people to NOT go there. In fact, I plainly stated that I planned on returning. Feel free to continue to send me more hate mail if you feel my food and service critique was against your own judgment.

On a happier note. I want to go to Red Robin to give it one more shot (as promised in my complaint letter). Any suggestions on what i should order? Anyone want to come with?

A video without a paper bag

Last week I went hiking in the Subway of Zion National Park. Pretty much a blast. Anyway, I just received an email stating the Zion Backcountry has just been closed due to wildfires and they are not issuing any permits. In the spirit of wanting to make other hikers jealous I decided to post a short video clip of my trip.

Snippet

I just spent the past two hours working on applications to become writers for the Board and I fear I'll be spending another hour on them later on. Thank goodness Yellow occasionally assigns me questions. I haven't taken the time to do much reading lately in the inbox so I'm a bit lacking there. Things are picking up though. It's all about getting organized.

So this past weekend I went down to the Subway hike in Zion National Park. Amazing! Sure my heels are covered in open sores now but it was still a blast for me. Apologies to Smo but props to her as well since she really did do a good job on the hike.

K, time to grab some lunch and then get back to work.

Bad Jokes

A Bb, Db, and an F walk into a bar. Bartender says "Sorry i can't serve you. You're minors."

What do you get when you cross holy water with a laxative? A religious movement.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Dyslexia
Dyslexia hoW?

Are you virtue? Because you've been garnishing my thoughts all day.

A man is feeling poorly so he goes to his Doctor. After numerous tests the doc says "I'm sorry but you have an incurable condition and there is nothing more I can do for you." The man pleads with the Doctor to suggest anything he might do to improve his condition and the Dr. then suggests that he go to the spa and take a daily mud bath. "Is there any hope of a cure?" the man asks. "No" says the Doctor, "but it will help you get used to dirt."

So the dyslexic walked into the bra.

Why does an archaeologist make a good husband? Because the older you get, the more interested he is in you.

Further on up the road

It's been about two months since Foodie and I stopped dating. I've been on maybe 5 real real dates since then and a whole lot of "hang out" dates. That's not how it should be. I am a dater. I date for fun. That's how I get my social fix. I'm not embarrassed to say that I've gotten fairly good at it too. But these past two months I've been letting myself fill my time work and hanging out. That's not the way to move on.

I'm hitting myself in the head for writing this post but I really have to get this out.

I haven't really opened my heart to too many people. But this past time I really did. I was more honest with her and myself than I have been in a long time. So it hurt when we ended things.

Generally after a breakup I get out into the dating field, not worried about finding the next love of my life but more concerned about making sure I'm actively dating. I believe strongly that as I date just for fun then Heavenly Father blesses me every so often with a girl that I am completely surprised to meet. I'm thrown off my feet every time. It's only happened a maybe 3 times but it's surprised me every time and each time the girl is more wonderful than the previous ones. Along with that though is always the fear that the girl I just broke up with was the best girl I'm ever going to find. Ugh.

Lately, I haven't been doing my part by dating. I blame it on work, or my calling, or other responsibilities. But if I'm honest with myself I don't know that all of me wants to move on. I can think of so many reasons why I should be glad that relationship was over but none of them really outshine how I felt and how I feel when I look back on it. I'm trying not to look back on it.

I'll get dating again. Let me get through the next few weeks of vacations and I'll be sure to get out there again. It has to be a priority. I know.

85 more days

This morning marks the 5th day of my new life as the ideal of masculinity. Adonis, Fabio, step aside. There's a new temptation for womankind walking out onto the floor and his name is [insert my real name here].

That's right. My sculpted chest, toned arms, and chiseled abs will soon be very dangerous to witness. Women will be unable to control their carnal desires and men will be unable to control their women.

Yes, I have started the new P90X system with my personal trainer Tony Horton (via DVD). Every morning I wake up my neighbors and we sweat up a storm and an hour later are left unable to stand. I seriously wake up almost every morning jumping at the chance to pop in the next DVD and get working. Monday was chest and back. Tuesday - plyometrics. Wednesday - arms and shoulders. Thursday - Yoga. Friday - legs and back. Saturday (tomorrow) - kenpo. I'm really liking these workout DVDs. The recovery drink isn't too shabby either.

Take this as a warning girls of the greater Provo area. In less than 90 days there will be three new guilty pleasures in your lives: me and my two neighbors.

I miss Shakespeare

Anyone want to drive down to the Utah Shakespearean Festival with me to see a show? It doesn't even have to be Shakespeare (though it really ought to be). Tickets would be $32. Throw in gas money and it's an easy 50 bucks we're spending but come on! It's so good!

Hmph...seriously...anyone want to come along?

Tac, tac, tac...

Today I'm playing the role of accountant. It's kind of fun actually. I never realized counting beans could bring such a smile to my face.

I'm very excited for the projects I have lined up for this summer and fall semester.

I'm very tempted to just type and forget I have a secret identity.

My thoughts today

Every time it happens it leaves me with a void,
The space left from my thoughts dedicated to her.
It's a tough thing to fill that.

Every time it happens I've felt a peace,
A confirmation that this was the right choice.
It's a comfort to know I'm on the right path.

This time when it happened I felt the void.
The peaceful confirmation hasn't come yet.
I'm betting it will.

just another note

It looks like as of today my blog has received 2,007 visits this year. Cool.

Today I respect Superman.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and have decided the blogs I like to read aren't written to be read. The writers talk about their lives and stories without thinking of who might be reading it. That sounds so freeing to me and I'm honestly thinking about giving up my identity.

I've been Just Another Cassio since August of last year. Me and JAC were all to ourselves until I decided to apply to be a writer for the Board. My roommate knew I was applying and one night we shared our pseudonyms with each other. It was intense I tell you.

I'm not one that likes to keep secrets about myself. When I started this blog I wanted to have an outlet to write about my thoughts and life and even my opinions about what goes on. Admittedly I love to tell stories. This blog seemed like an avenue I could use to develop that interest.

Secret identities have a dark side though. Everytime I start to write something on my blog I end up erasing it because I'm just not sure if it gives too much info regarding myself. For the past 9 months I've been guarding who I am and I'm starting to ask myself "why?." I can't imagine how Clark Kent did it (or does it).

I see only two options to this dilemma:

1. Share my real name with the world.
2. Forget about the reader and write to write.

Not too sure what I'll do yet, but I'm excited for either prospect.

Someone reads my posts

Here's an email I received in response to one of my posts today on the Board:

Dear JAC,

The advertising for your "Mesopotamian Miracle" treatment was convincing. If I had any money, you can be assured that I would wire it to you posthaste.

I would contact you in regards to your stock of snake oils, but I am afraid I have been subjected to a great deal of those recently. I'm just about "snake oiled" out. Maybe later, eh?

I wish you the best of luck in what is no doubt an illustrious and lucrative business.

-"FrankenFinger"

Any other takers? :)

A girl named Foodie Squarp: what not to say for a pickup line

If you haven't guessed from my lack of posts to this blog, I've been a little distracted this past month. From the title of this post you're probably guessing that I've gone a few rounds with true love and it's occupied my time so much that I've forgotten you few that read my blog. That's not entirely true.

I fell prey to the distraction of finals like most students during the month of April. Not an excuse? Oh I think it's a very good excuse. Of course quite a few other writers have been posting to their blogs despite finals. That's where the second part comes in and if my calculations from which of my posts has been read the most then this second part is the more interesting part for you all.

Back in February I received an application for a date. Yes, I have a dating application. It's been online for a while and I'd say all in all I've received 4 apps. This particular application was from a young lady by the pseudonym of Foodie Squarp. When I received Foodie's app I quickly read through it and then looked her up on Facebook. Yes, I admit I'm superficial to a certain extent and wanted to see what she looked like. You would have done the same had you been in my position. Admit it.

She looked like a cute little Asian girl but it just wasn't the time for me to go on a blind date. It turns out that she wasn't Asian in the least bit and that's okay. I'm not particularly attracted nor turned off by the Asian persuasion but it's been a funny anecdote since.

Come March, I was over my last romantic pursuit and in a mood that I thought it might be nice to go on blind date for a little fun. I pulled up my applications and decided I wanted to take Foodie out on a date. I asked her out. She said yes.

(There's more of a story here than I'm letting on but I'm not really in the mood to type a whole lot so maybe if you request the story I'll share it.)


The date was a whole lot of fun and I just felt really comfortable with her. It amazes me how natural everything was. We decided to go out the next weekend but saw each other pretty much everyday until then as well. Our first date was March 23rd. Since then, I'll admit that we've only gone 2 days without seeing each other. There have been a lot of very fun dates and nice moments.

She's a real sweet girl. I'm very happy she's put up with me for these past 5 weeks.


There you go everyone! Happy? It's been a while. I guess the above anecdote wasn't too funny though. For those of you that need a laugh:

Yesterday, Foodie was laying on the couch and I came and sat on the edge of the couch right in front of her. I then laid back so my back was somewhat arched over her till my shoulder blades were in contact with the couch. For some reason, this position made me think it'd be nice to pop my back like this. So in an effort to get more pressure on my back I kindly asked Foodie, "Care to throw your hips in my direction?"


Not something you should use as a pickup line. I didn't and never will.

I'm back

Hello everyone! I do apologize for my league of absence but it seems that I decided to give up my blog for the rest of Lent. It was nice but now I'm back.

What happened in all that time?

• I've taken a couple of exams.
• I've started to stress for finals.
• We hired 3 new writers to the Board.
• I met a great girl.
• I made Japanese food.
• I watched conference.
• I celebrated Easter.

Lot's of stuff I know. Don't worry, I'll think up something interesting to write soon enough. For now just know that I've missed writing but am thankful for the break. :)

Just another fluid approach to Catholocism

I would like to announce that I've gone nearly a whole week following my original Lent vow to be more responsible in my sleep habits.

It's been fantastic! My mind has been clearer and I've started to notice other vices I have. Vices that I really shouldn't have. For that reason I have decided that my Lent is going to be a weekly thing. So cross "Sleeping habits" off my list cause that baby's done!

This week I'm going to focus on Text Messaging. I've been doing it far too often. I blame it on my new phone. Why am I giving up txt messaging? I think I've been using it so much it is interfering with my communication with others instead of helping it.

So there you go. One week without sending one text message. I can do it I swear!

Tonight I hate Lent

Very few people are aware of my resolution for Lent this year. I tend to stay up until the wee hours of the morning and wake up with the minimum time necessary for me ot arrive to class on time. I decided I would use Lent to better my sleeping stragies.

Sunday thru Thursday I have to be in bed by 11 p.m.
Monday thru Friday I have to be up by 7 a.m.


I know there are plenty of you that wake up much earlier than I do. I'm not comparing myself to you though. I'm just trying to show a little more discipline in my life.

Tonight I hate discipline.

At 11 o'clock I went to bed. I went in my room and got underneath the covers and waited for sleep to come. I waited, and waited, and waited...

Two hours later I gave up on bed and came out to complain to you all. I lay in my bed for two hours feeling resentment towards Lent just as a little child feels resentment towards his parents when told to go to bed before the summer sun goes down.

I don't think I broke my vow for Lent though. I gave it the good ole college try tonight. We can just say I got up extremely early this morning and went to bed again. I'll be up at 7 though. Don't worry.

Just another favorite sin

I have a parking ticket I need to pay.

I'm banned from parking or driving on BYU property for a whole year, no wait...11 1/2 months.

My favorite sin is parking illegally.

Repentance is hard.

(more on this later)

Some cars just can't rock

After my Technical Writing class I got into my car and the sweet tunes of Boston's Smokin' were sounding from my speakers. Good song, good song.

So I pulled around the corner and was stopped at a light behind some white car. I didn't pay much attention to the make and model. I apologize. Both of us had our blinkers on to turn left.

Two cars stopped at a light, both waiting to go the same direction. One difference: the white car's blinker was synced with Boston. Mine wasn't.

Sad day, sad day.

A missionary story...Board-style

Last night I received word that Chrissy (Google Video Girl in Green) found my post advertising my intent to meet her rather...creepy.

I felt bad. Very bad. This morning I decided to give up my identity to her and apologize. I don't think she would mind me sharing her reply:

Hey [revealed identity of JAC],

Please don't apologize... [your informant] must've gotten the wrong idea from when I was telling him the story at [some place] yesterday. I asked him if he knew who JAC was, (I saw you two were friends on facebook) But he said he knew you only through the 100 hour board. So I proceeded to tell him how we came to find out about your blog,

(Basically a girl in our ward told Chaela that "some guy wrote a blog about how he wants to go on a date with Chrissy")

When Chaela told me this, before either of us had read the blog, I'm sure you can imagine we were both a little "creeped out."

But after reading it, and corresponding with you (on Chaela's end), we think you're a really nice guy, and we're amazed at how fast [your blog post] got back to us!

We know we're no professional film-makers, but it's very flattering to have people we don't even know singing praises about our movies, and us!

So thanks, and please don't erase your blogs. Because A: They're really good, B: It's a really cool story, and C: They're probably boosting our movies' popularity.

So... I'm sorry if you heard wrong, but basically we thought the whole thing was really cool, and didn't find it creepy because we knew if you were a member of the 100 Hour Board, and had your own blog, then you must be pretty internet savvy, and could've easily looked me up on facebook, myspace, or BYU's directory, and contacted me in any of those ways. But the fact that you didn't told us you weren't creepy at all. And from that point on we considered it flattering.

Well I hope this all made sense. Basically you're not creepy and we think you're really cool. (And now we've discovered the 100 Hour board.) I'm sure I'll meet you eventually, and there's no point in us avoiding each other until then. Talk to you later!
-Chrissy

There you have it. I'm not creepy, in fact, I'm really cool. What a roller coaster this day has been. Even more important than that though, two more people have been introduced to the Board. This is the kind of story you write home about.

Thanks Chrissy and Chaela for the good words and welcome to Board culture.

For all of you that are still in the dark as to who these two girls are then check out this video.

Einstein, Freud, and Darwin

In my theatre history class a week or so ago we were talking about Einstein, Freud, and Darwin. I know they don't seem like 3 gentlemen a theatre class would talk about but they are and we were.

With Darwin we talked about Evolution and his book, Origin of Species..., and it reminded me of high school where we put on a production of Inherit the Wind. Great show in my opinion about the Scopes Monkey Trial. Whenever you get to pit Creationism and Evolution against each other you're bound to run into dramatic action.

With Freud we talked about the theory of the Id vs. the Ego. Interesting stuff although sternly negated by my roommate.

Finally with Einstein we talked about his Theory of Relativity. Basically, time is relative. I thought about that this morning as I was taking a shower. You see, this morning I woke up an hour earlier than usual and hopped in the shower. At the time I didn't think I took a very long shower. Turns out I took half an hour. That's 20 minutes more than normal. Why didn't it seem 3 times longer? Because time is relative.

Think of the guy who waits for the girl to answer her phone when he dials her number for the first time. Time could certainly be going slow for him.

What a thought to think at 7 in the morning.

Grant Proposals!

Should that phrase really have an exclamation point behind it? You betcha!

I'm in a technical writing class this semester and we've just been assigned the task of writing a grant proposal to save an endangered species or something like that. Compare that with my job where these next couple weeks I'm going to be putting some proposals together to get funding for student internships and construction of student facilities. Yay...I'm finally studying something that I'm doing at work!

Where do I work? Can't say. I work for some college here at BYU. That's enough detail.

a girl, a blog, and a hungarian author

In 1929, back in the day where there was nothing else to do, a Hungarian author by the name of Frgyes Karinthy published a volume of short stories called "Everything is Different." Karinthy believed that the world was shrinking in a way due to the ever-increasing connectedness of human beings. You can imagine that with the strides of technology since then--cell phones, email, facebook--we are even more connected than Karinthy could have dreamed. In his book, the characters create a game stemming from this theory:

A fascinating game grew out of this discussion. One of us suggested performing the following experiment to prove that the population of the Earth is closer together now than they have ever been before. We should select any person from the 1.5 billion inhabitants of the Earth—anyone, anywhere at all. He bet us that, using no more than five individuals, one of whom is a personal acquaintance, he could contact the selected individual using nothing except the network of personal acquaintances.

As you can see this game seems to resemble incredibly the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game doesn't it? (I swear my neighbor can beat anyone you know at that game.) We're all connected huh? Hard to believe?

If any of you have read my blog within the past week (since Thursday) you probably read over my solicitation for the chance to meet a certain girl I saw in a flic on Google Video. I've received a few comments from said solicitation and would like to now take the opportunity to comment on them. :)

ChillyGator:

How happy this post makes me due to sheer randomness. 10 points.

Sometimes, dear, dates really do make just another great story. Too bad she probably considers herself a minor celebrity. Isn’t that always the way?

Use your stalking skills. (o:

I'm glad this post makes you happy. I will gladly accept the 10 points. Minor celebrity? Yeah...that's true. I sure hope that fame hasn't gone too much to her head. I mean I'm just a humble, down-to-earth kind of guy. Now with regards to stalking skill, hmm, I don't agree with that term. Sure we Board Writers may have excellent research skill, but we respect the privacy of others and wouldn't dream of violating that privacy. That's actually one of the main reasons I didn't didn't disclose last name info in my previous post.

Anonymous:

I believe this girl is in my ward. She lives in my complex.

Way to be discreet there Anonymous. Glad to know you know of her. Chrissy, if you're reading this then I suggest watching out for Anonymous. Werf obviously knows you but you don't know werf AND werf apparently lives in your complex. Consider moving. That's kind of creepy...no offense Anonymous. FYI - "werf" is a Board term if you need a definition.

Kimmy:

Can I please be on your Gift Approval Committee? Cause the committee really isn't up to par in my opinion.
Also, JAC is a fabulous person when not playing Munchkin and is a fabulous cook :)

Can you be on my committee? I don't know about that Kimmy. It's a very select committee consisting of my roommate and myself. I suppose if there is a divided decision we could at least consult you. I do think we do alright though. Hey thanks about saying I'm fabulous. Although i don't know if I'd use that word to describe me. "Fabulous" sounds a little too effeminate for me. Sure I've got a sensitive side but there are few things that give me more pleasure than re-wiring a lamp or opening a tightly sealed jar. If I were to use the word "fabulous" though, I don't think I'd restrict it from my Munchkin play. I've only played that game 3 times so I don't think it's fair to make a judgement there. I am a good cook aren't I? Thanks for noticing.

Now everyone, here's the comment that I was most surpised by.

Chae:

This is Chaela. [A] business partner with "Speakerphone Productions."

Besides being a little creepy and offensive (I'm just as cool) this is pretty funny. [The girl you saw] is my best friend and roommate...anyone who gets to her does so through me...so say some nice things about me and we'll see what happens. I can tell you though that she's not really into stuff like this. Like, at all. But good luck.

What a pleasure it's been to have you comment on my blog Chae! Really this is very surpising to me to have this message reach you so quickly. It's a real honor I assure you. You're so talented. I can't explain how nice it is for a minor celebrity like yourself to write on my blog. I'm very curious to find out how you were reffered to my. Ok, now...what did you mean by creepy and offensive? I thought you both would be flattered that I was advertising your movies. My blog reached a record number of hits because I posted your movie and hopefully you received a number of views as well. Google Video ought to be pounding on your door for more. I do understand what you say about [your friend] not being too into "stuff like this" and welcome your vote of encouragement. What else can I say? You're funny Chae and I'm glad you were able to laugh at my blog if at least for a moment. Hopefully laughter isn't the only thing that comes from all of this. If it is...oh well. Life goes on. Just note that I don't have any sneakers embroidered on my shirts. ;)

Back to the general readership, what an interesting episode don't you think? I posted a solicitation to meet a certain person I've never met and within 3 days I received word that a close friend of that person knew of my request. This world is much smaller than I expected. Karinthy must be so excited.

I'm tired and need to rest up if I'm going to get back to Provo tomorrow. G'night all.

Change of Plans

Last night I went to bed about 2 am. I got distracted by some Board stuff: new applications, questions, etc. Earlier that evening I had planned out my day up till about 1 pm. I even programmed my schedule into my phone so that I'd something nagging at me to get it all done. Going to bed at 2 am really wasn't boding too well for my plans. That's just late enough to switch any intentions I had of being productive with lazy yet oh so sweet intentions of sleeping late. I really wasn't expecting this Saturday morning to be anything more than that.

Well I woke up at 7 and got myself a drink and went back to bed.

Then I woke up at 8. I looked at my clock. Then thought, "I should go to the temple right now. Yeah, that'd be a good idea. I'm going to the temple." I then sat in bed for 3 minutes pondering the decision I had made, got out of bed, showered then dressed in shirt and tie (pants are implied), and now I'm sitting on my couch checking my email and whatnot.

Ok. Time to go to the temple. This is such a cool Saturday morning.

Anyone like to help me out?

So I saw this video on Google Video entitled Picnics, Racism, and Obesity. My gosh it's too funny. I then proceeded to watch every other video produced by Speakerphone Productions. "The Band" is especially great. These are two girls that know how to capture some hilariously subtle comedy.

Why am I writing about this? Why does any guy write about a movie he saw on Google Video? I want to meet one of the girls. Yes, that's right. I want to meet Chrissy, the girl in green. Those of you that know me know that I generally do not go soliciting introductions via online means. However, I think this solicitation can be considered appropriate.

Remember when I wrote Must there be a pickup line? Well this is pretty much the same situation. I've only seen this girl and her movies. I think she's someone I'd like to meet. Simple as that.

I'll admit that it's legitimately odd to advertise for a date online but a friend of mine once said that "at least it makes for a good story." This was said after she solicited me for a date. ;)

So here is my formal invitation to all that read my blog. I would like to take Chrissy on a date. If you can help me then I'm willing to offer one of three things:

1. I, JAC, will cook dinner for you and a few friends.
2. I will send you the official JAC t-shirt that reads "Just Another Board Reader".
3. Pending approval of the Just Another Gift Approval Committee, I will do one thing of your choice.

What do you say everyone? Will you help me find Chrissy? One date is all I'm hoping for. Ok. Time to answer some questions.

Oh, and just in case she's directed to my blog to see this invitation. How about some of you commenting some nice things about me to talk me up a little.

A Proper Homage

In honor of V-Day, I am wearing all black today.

Take that as you will.

On second thought...

This V-Day I will be giving no more than a nice smile and a cordial hello.

It's best this way.

V-Day is almost here...

So I'm working on a post. No, maybe that sounds too involved. I started a post the other day and wrote about 4 sentences and got bored. I decided I'd put it on the back burner a few days and see if a little percolating might help it. I'll give you a preview though: it's about my favorite sin. :)

Today though, I'm going to post something else. You see, I promised someone that I would post everyday this weekend and by golly, I'm going to do it. I mean it to.

I got thinking about Valentine's Day a few days ago. I've never really been a fan. Why? Well for two reasons mainly. First, I never have a girlfriend around V-Day. Second, even if I did I don't know what I'd do for it.

It's always been an unwritten rule for me to not start to date anyone between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day. Exchanging gifts because of holidays is the number one cause of over-commitment in a budding relationship. (Seriously, look it up.) This year however I've been going against my rule entirely, well, not entirely. I've dated a few girls but have managed to decide I wasn't in love with them in time for the next holiday on the calendar. Now that I look back on that it kind of sounds suspicious to me.

So yeah, it was strange for me to be contemplating Valentine's day. I got to thinking about a friend I wouldn't mind expressing my friendship to. Wait... How can I have those thoughts? I swear I'm not in love with the girl. I mean I like her. We just don't know each other enough for it to be more than that. Why am I rethinking my stance on V-Day? It must just be the guy in me that likes to give gifts and show my friends that I appreciate their friendship.

I like to give gifts. Honest. I remember one birthday I got about 10 bucks from birthday cards and ran down to the dollar store to buy candy for my siblings and ugly silk flowers for my mom and grandma. Boy were they overjoyed, I tell you what.

Last summer I started casually dating/hanging out with a girl. I wasn't insanely into her at the time but she was a friend and I appreciated her friendship so I'd do nice things for her. Well, I thought they were nice things. She thought they were tokens of my affection...no, let me restate that. She thought they were tokens of my undying love. Why must nice things be interpreted that way?!? That's part of what makes me hesitant to give gifts or do kind acts of service (let alone on Valentine's Day) to anyone or particularly any girl just because I want to show them that I value the friendship we've had up to that point.

I'm going to ignore my past experience though. It's time for me to be me again without fear of being misinterpreted. I can do this. I swear I can. I can be the sweet, loveable (and severely attractive) man I've been in the past. Nothing will be misinterpreted. My goal is that just enough will be interpreted.

Must there be a pick up line?

A year and a half ago I was taking an evening class in statistics here at BYU. My third class or so I sat down next to a girl whose name was Esther. I remember her name because the last girl I had dated shared it. The name "Esther" means "star" by the way and this girl certainly did outshine a few others.

We talked briefly and helped each other with the homework and staying awake during the lecture. Well I had tickets to a play that night and had forgotten to get a date. I summed up my courage and asked her if she'd like to attend with me. Of course I also explained that I have never asked a girl out within the first hour of meeting her. It went over better than expected actually. Of course she did turn me down (apparently she had a study group) but she at least expressed an interest in going (perhaps that was just courtesy). I was dumb however, and never went to sit by her again. I know, dumb move. It was an exhilarating feeling though! Putting yourself on a limb. Becoming so vulnerable with the risk of an exciting payoff! I think I'm wanting that feeling again.

Life tells me that there are certain situations where you are allowed to meet people:

• A ward
• A class
• Through a friend
• At a party
• At a dance
• In an elevator (sometimes)

Those situations are great for meeting people but sometimes I just see a girl and I want to meet them. Maybe she's sitting at a table in the library. Perhaps I see her leave a classroom as I walk down the hall. I'll give you two examples of girls I've wanted to meet in the last 24 hours.

Example 1

Last night our stake had a leadership meeting. Men and women alike attended. I was seated near the back right side of the congregation. During the meeting my eyes wandered and I saw a pair of eyes glancing briefly in my general direction. I know they weren't looking at me but I still consider myself fortunate to have seen them. For two brief seconds I saw a pair of eyes and gorgeous blond curly hair that I wanted to meet...desperately. She wasn't sitting by any other men, but she was sitting nowhere near me!

After the meeting I looked back in her direction only to find that I had lost her. I doubt I'll meet her now. What would I have done to meet her anyway? I had no in. I had no friend to introduce us. These societal rules were impeding my Eternal progression!

Would it have been acceptable for me to just walk over to her after the meeting and politely introduce myself?

"Hi. I don't know you, but you look like someone I'd like to meet."

Example 2

This afternoon I was walking to my office and a beautiful girl walked past me. I think I caught the whispers of a smile from her but that could have been anything. I was walking the opposite direction as her though. Could I have swapped directions and said something similar?

"Excuse me. I think I'd like to meet you. My name is...."

There are thousands of people around me everyday! Do I really have any limitations other than my own choice on whom I meet? Am I forced to never get to know these attractive girls that I have no connection with whatsoever? Do I have to lie and ask for directions or something? Can I not just introduce myself like we did on the mission?

I like being straight forward.

I admit that a lot of the people we directly approached in the mission rejected us. Maybe I need to go ahead and introduce myself to these girls with the firm acknowledgment that I most likely will be rejected in the first 30 seconds. The sting of rejection is easily healed by the one girl that is flattered and accepting. [shrug]

I do only have to meet that one girl.

Commitment: taking it one step at a time

If you were to look at my left ring finger right now you'd see the faded markings of what looks like the number 4. If you were to think it was the number 4 you'd be terribly mistaken. It's actually an upside down rudimentary drawing of a chair.

Why do I have a drawing of a chair on my left ring finger? Because I wanted to share a thought with you but I didn't want to forget it. Since I didn't have any string I opted to make a line on my hand. Ten minutes later I almost forgot what the line was for so I adapted it into being a chair.


When I go into a room I always identify my exits. It's not a habit from over-flying I can assure you. I want to make sure I have a quick way out of the room should I need to rush out. Why would I need to rush out? I don't know. I haven't thought that far yet. My habit carries over into how I select my seat in a classroom as well. I generally sit on the half near the door, often on the front row or on the aisle. It makes for the most efficient exit. Efficient exits are very important. Do you think I'm a little peculiar? I don't think so. In fact I'd say that most of us do this on a subconscious level. I just do it consciously. Why else is it that in church every one sits towards the aisles and leaves huge spaces in the middle of the pew (sp?). In the Marriott Center they're always asking people to scoot into the center to make room for more.

I think this habit of ours stems from our overall fear of commitment. When we enter a space, if we choose an exit seat we really haven't committed to the space.

Today I made a choice. I committed to my Sunday School class. I was the first one there and I went and sat smack dab in the center row right against the wall (it's a small room). For me to have been able to escape I would have had to knock over 3 girls and a large man. It wasn't going to happen.

At the start of class I was amazed at how nervously jumpy I was. In time I calmed down and was able to contribute responsibly to the lesson. It certainly was a good one and I most certainly will accept some credit for it (I didn't disturb the flow with so many of my random comments this time).

I had no idea commitment could be such an adrenaline rush!
(this blog entry in no way reflects my role in relationships, honest)

A Letter of Complaint to Red Robin

Dear Red Robin,

Thank you for reading this letter. I am writing to inform you I have been severely disappointed in my last two visits to your establishment. Let me explain why.

About 2 months ago, I and two friends, visited your Provo Towne Center location for dinner. Upon looking at your menu I was very delighted to see all the many selections of hamburgers I could order. I have always been a fan of spicey food so I opted to try your 5 Alarm Burger. Our waitress was wonderful and service was prompt. Unfortunately, your 5 Alarm Burger barely singed my taste buds. At most it was a 1, maybe 2 Alarm Burger. More careful taste tasting should be conducted before making such high claims as you did for the naming of this burger.

Tonight, was my second visit to your restaurant. We went to the same location and the atmosphere wa\as yet again great. our waitress was less than outstanding but she did get us our fries promptly (after we badgered her for them). I ordered the A1 Peppercorn Burger and a bowl of French Onion Soup. First off, I expected the soup to be served before everyone else was served their food. That's how it's done at pretty much every other restaurant that exists. Soup is supposed to be served well before the main course. Please do that next time. My second complaint is that the A1 Peppercorn Burger had far too much pepper. The overall burger was very dry because of it and therefore had to be drenched in ketchup in order to be edible. In all honesty, I could not finish the burger because the overwhelming pepper taste began to cause me to gag. Please inform you cooks to not purely dump out the pepper shaker when next time preparing this sandwhich.

Red Robin, I really have high hopes for you. The atmosphere in your restaurant is always so lively but the food and service is just not making me want to go back for more. This is two strikes. I hope to not have to call a third. Please make any changes necessary and I'll be back in 6 to 8 weeks.

Sincerely,

Just Another Customer

Restaurant Night - January

We're going to...


If you want to come then email me and I'll let you know what time we're going. If you're wondering what Restaurant Night is then you need to read this.

Goals for the rest of today:

1. Turn in Add Card at One Stop.
2. Go to BoM.
3. Work on Accounting homework.
4. Plan weight training routine.
5. Pick a restaurant for Restaurant Night. (details to follow)
6. Choose a movie to see this weekend. (I have to for class, honest)
7. Not die. (Hopefully I get to this one today)

Anyone taken Accounting 200?

I hear Norm finishes up his mission come July of this year.


Keep up the good work Norm.

Looks like I'm desert island material...

For those of you wanting to be smart about this title, "No, I am not talking about sand!"

Every so often someone sends in an application to the Board to become a writer. In virtue of the authority I do not hold I will disclose on of the questions listed on said application.

shhhh...

If the 100 Hour Board were a reality TV show, which writer would you chose to be with on a deserted island? Why?

Here's the clincher. Someone applied last December, sadly I didn't see her application until today (a little late I know). Guess what her answer was?...ugh...you're taking to long. Here you go:

Just Another Cassio. He’s funny, not obnoxious, nice, and seems to be an intelligent thinker.

She chose me! Ok, ok I'm a little flattered. In the past other writers have been chosen for that desert island excursion and they've shown excitement on being chosen but since I hadn't ever been chosen before I didn't really know how they felt. Let me tell you it's a good feeling. In fact, Uffish Thought and I were chatting about it today.

me: I never realized how flattering that would beUffish: woo, woo!

yeah, it's pretty awesome

me: everyone else always celebrates when it happens to them but when it happens to yourself...wow

Uffish: yeah--because they picked you out from everyone

me: it's true

Uffish: you feel like you won the "best writer of ever" prize

me: sure do

Uffish: and also "most attractive" to boot

me: well...if you say so

Anyway, that's enough gloating for that compliment. If you're reading this Applicant, know that you've got my vote. Flattery gets you everywhere.

Can someone please flatter Blogger because this post is not formatting right...?

Just Another Dictionary Entry

Restaurant Night - noun - The second Friday of every month where a group of my friends will go out to a restaurant for food. Married friends are allowed, as are single friends with or without dates. Dinner will usually cost $5-20. Antonyms - Eat At Home Day

Marriage Prospects

I decided that I could marry a Theatre major. I've always been very against it. For as long as I can remember I planned on marrying a teacher or someone that wears scrubs to work. I've only ever discriminated against Theatre majors but it looks like my requirements are changing.

Meh.

Life's about change.

I feel like I'm surrounded

The weirdest thought entered my mind today at the bookstore.

I wonder if any of these hundreds of people around me read the 100 hour Board.

I was at the bookstore between 4 and 4:30 pm this afternoon. Were you?

Revelation in the Key of Gee I'm an idiot

Saturday I had nothing to do for most of the day. In the afternoon the thought came to me that I should give my Mom a call. Then I thought I should call my married sis and see how she and the kids were doing. I fell asleep and didn't end up making any calls that day.

I got to bed fairly late, due to my roommate trying to introduce me to Mystery Science Theatre 3000. He has a ton of episodes on CD to watch on the computer. I see them as that milk that you keep sniffing trying to decide if it's good or bad but you can't really tell so you use it on a really sugary cereal just to cover whatever spoiled taste you thought it might have had. Yeah, that suits it.

During the night I had a dream about the people I served on my mission...

Due to the high Catholic influence I think, whenever a member would have a baby they would always have the baby blessed the first Fast Sunday possible. In my dream I continued my non-dream thoughts that it's odd they don't wait a couple of months before taking the baby to Church. I dream thought that that's how my Mom always did it. She'd wait a couple months for the baby to get a bit bigger and then take werf to church for a blessing. In my dream I commented that that's even how my sister is doing it with her kids.

Next morning I get up and get ready for Church. I arrived a little early and we did the whole sing, pray, sacrament thing and then the testimonies began. The first testimony was by a wardie and the first thing she said was, "I'll make this brief because I've got to leave early to make it to my sister's baby's blessing."

My mind opened up...today my sister was having her baby blessed! I waltzed out of the Sacrament metting (without a partner), jumped in my car and got on the cell to call my other sister. No answer. I started driving to my sister's chapel (generally an hour away) and my sis called me back.

"Is it over?" I asked.
"They just finished the blessing." she answered.

I hung up and made it to the church in 45 minutes. I was going at least 85 the whole way. I walked through the chapel doors just as the closing prayer was being said, ashamed of the uncle I was.

My sister wasn't upset at all though. She was glad I was there. I'll do better next time. But sheesh. If only I had called my Mom the day before.

I'm not dead yet...hoorah...

First day of class. Yep that's what it was. Halfway across the parking lot I realized I didn't have my wallet as I walked to school this morning. 13 hours later I finally got home to eat something.

Head pounding, little loopy, somewhat tired.

I was technically only enrolled in two of the 4 classes I attended today. I dropped one of them and have to wait a week in order to get a signature on my Add/Drop card for the others. Ugh...it was a long day. I'm excited about my classes though. I feel a bit of energy shooting through me saying "You can get a 4.0!" Of course my Self Respect tells me differently. I tell him to shut up. Self Respect is supposed to support you isn't it? That's what I said.

I'm really into letting nouns be Proper Nouns. Probably because I started reading Loa of The Divine Narcissus today. Mexican/Spanish literature from the 16th century. The characters all have nouns for names like...Religion or Zeal. Reminds me of Everyman. Really gives you a way to connect with what your reading. I think I'm going to start using it in my everyday speech:

"Hi Mom! How was my day? Well Hunger was giving me a hard time. He and Pain made an attack for my head but I shot 'em down with the help my good friend Mr. Excedrin Migraine. He's a tough one Mr. EM. Pain and Hunger didn't stand a chance when Mr. EM, Food and I were on the defense."

What? That's not funny? Good thing you're not wasting time reading my blog then isn't it?

My Uncle Mufasa

Have you ever looked at someone and thought "Gee, I'm glad I don't have that guy's life."? (sorry about the punctuation)

That's what I thought today. I got this job for a TV Studio last week. All I do is sweep a street. I know you're thinking that doesn't sound like much of a TV job but seriously I get some great exposure. 2-3 times a day I'm on TV. More if there's a crisis on the set. Today I was sweeping by the Star's house. He seems like a really nice guy. He has a nice house and a gorgeous wife but things don't seem to be going right for him. I've heard him talking and he doesn't sound like he enjoys what he does. I'd invite him to go sailing sometime. That really relaxes me. I don't think he'd go though. Besides the fact that he doesn't know who I am, I'm pretty sure he's freaked out by the water. Yeah well. We like him still. We all love watching him. It's so dramatic watching him on TV. Seriously. A lot of people were pretty envious I got the chance to work here with him. We all love him. I don't understand why his wife is going to leave him soon. Oops! I really shouldn't have let that leak. Dang! I'll probably get fired soon.

Do I sound odd? What you don't know is that I've been playing a game with you. What game? It's called My Uncle Mufasa. It's based off of an episode of The Office. In the episode Michael, the boss, is holding a grief counseling session because a former supervisor of his died and he wanted everyone to have the chance to grieve. No one else really knew the guy though and they see no point in being there. Ryan, former temp current employee, shared a story about how his Uncle Mufasa got killed in a wildebeest stampede in Africa. He was totally claiming The Lion King as his own story. Michael didn't get it. So then Kevin, guy in pic, talks about his uncle (or someone) dying but how they had to act as if he were still alive over the weekend and Michael recognized he was using the story of Weekend at Bernie's as his own story. How Michael caught that story and not The Lion King is a mystery left to the wonderful writers of the show.

To play the game you talk from the perspective of a character in a movie tell about "a guy you knew" who was part of the story. Everyone in the group listens and as they figure out what movie you're alluding too they raise their hand. The last person in the group to raise their hand names the movie. It's hiLARious. I loved every minute of it!

A Duck of Many Things

I played Munchkin for the first time two nights ago. Oh my! It was insane. It took much longer than it's supposed to but that's because there were three of us there that had never played it before.

How did it turn out? Technically... we didn't finish the game. Three of the six players backed out at the end because they just weren't good enough. In an effort to provide a fair reporting of the event I'll state that they felt we were a little too into the game and should have been ok ending with a draw.

Heck no! We were winning and I would have beat them all!