We talked briefly and helped each other with the homework and staying awake during the lecture. Well I had tickets to a play that night and had forgotten to get a date. I summed up my courage and asked her if she'd like to attend with me. Of course I also explained that I have never asked a girl out within the first hour of meeting her. It went over better than expected actually. Of course she did turn me down (apparently she had a study group) but she at least expressed an interest in going (perhaps that was just courtesy). I was dumb however, and never went to sit by her again. I know, dumb move. It was an exhilarating feeling though! Putting yourself on a limb. Becoming so vulnerable with the risk of an exciting payoff! I think I'm wanting that feeling again.
Life tells me that there are certain situations where you are allowed to meet people:
- A ward
- A class
- Through a friend
- At a party
- At a dance
- In an elevator (sometimes)
Example 1
Last night our stake had a leadership meeting. Men and women alike attended. I was seated near the back right side of the congregation. During the meeting my eyes wandered and I saw a pair of eyes glancing briefly in my general direction. I know they weren't looking at me but I still consider myself fortunate to have seen them. For two brief seconds I saw a pair of eyes and gorgeous blond curly hair that I wanted to meet...desperately. She wasn't sitting by any other men, but she was sitting nowhere near me!
After the meeting I looked back in her direction only to find that I had lost her. I doubt I'll meet her now. What would I have done to meet her anyway? I had no in. I had no friend to introduce us. These societal rules were impeding my Eternal progression!
Would it have been acceptable for me to just walk over to her after the meeting and politely introduce myself?
"Hi. I don't know you, but you look like someone I'd like to meet."Example 2
This afternoon I was walking to my office and a beautiful girl walked past me. I think I caught the whispers of a smile from her but that could have been anything. I was walking the opposite direction as her though. Could I have swapped directions and said something similar?
"Excuse me. I think I'd like to meet you. My name is...."There are thousands of people around me everyday! Do I really have any limitations other than my own choice on whom I meet? Am I forced to never get to know these attractive girls that I have no connection with whatsoever? Do I have to lie and ask for directions or something? Can I not just introduce myself like we did on the mission?
I like being straight forward.
I admit that a lot of the people we directly approached in the mission rejected us. Maybe I need to go ahead and introduce myself to these girls with the firm acknowledgment that I most likely will be rejected in the first 30 seconds. The sting of rejection is easily healed by the one girl that is flattered and accepting. [shrug]
I do only have to meet that one girl.
8 comments:
every time I see that sign, I snicker. And yes, I know what you mean. I'm even afraid to meet people in my classes... especially if he's sitting on the other side of the room and we have assigned seating or something. Like... "excuse me, but I don't sit next to you, but how about I introduce myself because I think you're really good-looking?" I should try it.
I vote if it's a class, a meeting, anything where you're in a room for a while, just wander over and say hi. Few people know the others, most are open to making new friends. Girls are generally excited that guys are talking to them, and I don't generally think he used to be on the other side of the room! he must have walked! The creep!
In a hall is harder. I'd never even thought of asking for directions as a good conversation opener. What brilliance! But most of the time, there just isn't enough time to make it a little less creepy--you can't have a long enough conversation to make sure there's a brain underneath the gorgeous hair. You might try to open things with comments on the weather, a goal to meet new people daily (just don't mention it's attractive females,) or a comment on her apprearance. ("Sorry, you look just like a friend of mine. Are you by any chance related to ______ _______? No? Well, it doesn't hurt to ask. If you're not a _____, what is your name? I'm Cassio. Where are you off to? I have something in the direction, too. Do mind if I walk with you? ...talk talk talk, do you like to do this kind of date activity? At the risk of sounding forward, will you come and do it with me and maybe another couple, sometime?") Just anything to get your foot in the door, and then start a conversation.
I don't know, I think we worry too much about this, sometimes. If everyone did it, it would be less of an issue. If only everyone did it. I guess I should content myself, knowing a few that do.
Oh, and sorry about the novel.
That is a really funny sign.
I'm taking Marriage Prep with Dr. Barlow and one of our assignments is called do something different. It's basically away to get out of our comfort zones. We get points for asking people out, giving out our phone numbers and walking up to people and just asking them out.
Seriously, he told us of one story where a girl walked up to a guy in line and said, "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No" "Would you like to go out on a date?" "Sure"
So I think you should go ahead and talk to someone like you said you did on the mission. I see guys all the time and wish they would talk to me, or I had enough courage to talk to them.
I occasionally read your blog, and I really enjoy it.
And I'm all for the to-the-point introductions. Why NOT simply tell someone, "Hi, you look like somebody I want to meet"? I think it's great ... and definitely flattering.
Wouldn't it be nice to have the unabashed approach of the mission field? My vote is to try your hand with the blunt line.
Can't hurt. :)
I like this idea. I would most definitely respond positively. In fact, I find myself walking around campus, daydreaming that that guy over there or that one walking toward me would say just what you feel that you want to say.
I s'pose I should work on my confidence too though, right?
Do it. Even if there are girls who think it's a bit weird, there are going to be some that are extremely flattered. You really have nothing to lose other than the mystery. If we all did that when someone (regardless of sex) looked interesting to us, we'd all have many, many more friends.
Yes. There must always, always be a pickup line. No worries, though, I am here to help you out in your dating adventures:
Pick up lines by Chilly (and Katie)
-"What's your favorite temple? ... Because you're mine."
-"I came to [insert Church activity] to feel the spirit, I didn't know I'd be seeing an angel."
-"Do you eat Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious."
-"You must be a ticket 'cause you look like a fine."
There is a very rediculous amount more, but I don't feel like typing them. So there. Because they're cheesy. I can only handle so much cheesy at once.
Results not guarenteed.
I say go for it. What's the worst a woman can do? I mean, she could rip your heart out, tear it into little pieces, stomp on those little pieces, then spit on the pieces (before sweeping them into a rubbage bin or something), but that is a very unlikely scenario. :)
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