It's been about two months since Foodie and I stopped dating. I've been on maybe 5 real real dates since then and a whole lot of "hang out" dates. That's not how it should be. I am a dater. I date for fun. That's how I get my social fix. I'm not embarrassed to say that I've gotten fairly good at it too. But these past two months I've been letting myself fill my time work and hanging out. That's not the way to move on.
I'm hitting myself in the head for writing this post but I really have to get this out.
I haven't really opened my heart to too many people. But this past time I really did. I was more honest with her and myself than I have been in a long time. So it hurt when we ended things.
Generally after a breakup I get out into the dating field, not worried about finding the next love of my life but more concerned about making sure I'm actively dating. I believe strongly that as I date just for fun then Heavenly Father blesses me every so often with a girl that I am completely surprised to meet. I'm thrown off my feet every time. It's only happened a maybe 3 times but it's surprised me every time and each time the girl is more wonderful than the previous ones. Along with that though is always the fear that the girl I just broke up with was the best girl I'm ever going to find. Ugh.
Lately, I haven't been doing my part by dating. I blame it on work, or my calling, or other responsibilities. But if I'm honest with myself I don't know that all of me wants to move on. I can think of so many reasons why I should be glad that relationship was over but none of them really outshine how I felt and how I feel when I look back on it. I'm trying not to look back on it.
I'll get dating again. Let me get through the next few weeks of vacations and I'll be sure to get out there again. It has to be a priority. I know.
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